What a marvelous suggestion!

Thanks to Casie's wonderful idea of approaching the subject of manners, you may call me Miss Manners tonight! I'm totally kidding. Although it seems sometimes that my family could sure use a visit from that lady!

The only reason that I'm so excited about writing this is that I hope to figure out exactly what I believe and act on in the process of sharing it with you. Can this qualify as talk now think later?

The subject of manners is one that is seldom brought up in any circle these days and one that in my opinion, is a sad loss indeed. Not to mention that for we as adults, is our loss as well.
I have sat at my table many a night and wished that my children were as respectful and well-behaved at home as they thankfully are at others homes.

In response to Casie's question about teaching our children to mind their manners at other peoples homes, I have found one thing to be true. As offensive as it might be to hear one of my older girls tell the hostess that they didn't care for dinner, I have never been offended at any 3 or 5 year old who voiced their honest opinion as long as it was properly dealt with by the parents. No one can fault a pre-schooler for being honest. It is something that they are hopefully taught everyday in everything they do. This is an excellent training opportunity for the parents.
My suggestion would be that when they inevitably express their opinions, you take that opportunity to, without embarrassment, quietly take them by the hand, lead them from the room and have a chat with them. Explain to them that what they said although perhaps true, was hurtful to their hostess. Remind them that this meal was made especially for your family's enjoyment and much work went into the preparation. Help your child to remember that they should only speak positive encouraging words and help them quickly practice a compliment that they can pay her. Then take the child back into the table, have her apologize without making a big deal of things, and go back to your conversation saving her and everyone else at the table any embarrassment.

As far as at your own table, I suggest coming up with a list of things to work on such as saying "Please pass the rolls" or "Thank you so much Mom for making dinner tonight". Not to mention the other obvious rules such as no bodily functions at the table. And one day I hope to accomplish this one:-( If it wasn't already difficult enough, I had to go and have two boys who are one big constant bodily function and everyone thinks it's hilarious!
I have many times had to warn my girls that if they couldn't mind their manners and behave themselves at the table, that they would be taking their plate to the island and eating their dinner all by themselves.
Get your husband to help you enforce these rules. I guarantee you that you will be glad you exercised these practices at home when your children reward you by behaving themselves beautifully in public.

All righty then, now that I have told you all exactly what I think, I believe I will start enforcing more of it! No more elbows on the table! Napkins in the lap Charlie! Danny take your feet off your high chair tray! Girls stop laughing at that, it's disgusting!

As I have told you before, I do not in any way, consider myself to be an expert. I am only giving you my own opinion because I always seem to have plenty of those things:-( I would absolutely love to hear some steps that you have taken to enforce good table manners!